Putting It Into Words
by Kristen3
Summary: Overcome with emotion after the birth of his first child, Niles finds himself writing a letter, but not to the person you'd expect. One-shot.


Niles could hardly breathe as he looked at his wife lying in the hospital bed. He couldn't imagine how exhausted she must be. Right now, the nurses had taken the baby down to the nursery so that Daphne could rest. All Niles wanted to do was to hold his wife and tell her how brave she was. From everything he'd learned in medical school, not to mention the ordeal with that cabdriver years ago, he knew that childbirth was no easy thing. And not only had Daphne given birth, but she'd done it in the most unlikely place. He shuddered to think of the kinds of germs which surely covered that vet's table.

As Niles sat there in thought, his emotions seemed to go in a hundred different directions. He knew he'd taken every opportunity to show his love for Daphne in the past few years, and yet he felt that he hadn't even scratched the surface. Suddenly he remembered something his mother had taught him when he was a child. Whenever he felt overwhelmed, she encouraged him to write about his feelings. It gave him a way to vent. She told him it often helped to write a letter to someone, even if it was never going to be mailed. In the past, he'd written letters to Maris, filled with angry words. They had kept him from making matters worse by saying those words to her face.

Somehow, Niles had thought to bring his briefcase with him, thinking that he could reread some patient files while he waited for the doctors to examine Daphne. Now he reached inside to look for blank paper. He found a nearly-new legal pad and a pen. He began to write, and even he was surprised at the words which soon filled the page.

_Dear Dad, _

_I know it seems strange that I'd be writing you a letter, especially now as I watch Daphne sleep. It seems impossible, but I truly think that she has never looked more beautiful. I can hardly believe this is real. We have a son. We've chosen to name him David Martin Crane. We talked it over and decided it was only right, since his birthday will always fall on your wedding anniversary. But more than that, it's because of you that this has happened. _

_Your decision to hire Daphne changed a lot of things. Indirectly, it helped bring Frasier and me closer than we've ever been. I can now honestly say that my brother is also my best friend. For so many years, he was my enemy. Daphne's presence also helped heal your relationship with Frasier, leading to the closeness you two now share. I know that he admires you as much as I do. We are both so sorry for the awful way we treated you when we were children. _

_But most of all, my life has been forever changed because of her. We all know that I was slowly dying before I met her. I shudder to think of what might have become of me had I not walked into Frasier's apartment one night and seen an angel standing there. The path we took together was hardly the most direct. Those detours led us both to some painful moments. Many times I doubted that I would ever end up being happy. But now I am. I keep having to pinch myself, just to make sure this isn't a dream. For so many years, I desperately prayed that somehow, some way, Daphne would see that I loved her. The thought of marrying her almost seemed to good to be true. How could I possibly deserve such happiness after all of my mistakes? _

_For reasons I will never fully understand, she has chosen to give me her hand in marriage. That is not something I could ever take lightly. From the moment we said "I do" in that little chapel in Reno, I promised myself I would spend the rest of my life making her happy. If our story had ended there, I would have been happy. After all, how could I ever dare to ask for more than that? _

_I have only known David for a few hours now, but I love him so much already. I will never forget the sight of him in Daphne's arms, her beautiful hair clutched in his tiny fist. I feel as if my heart has doubled in size within the past twenty-four hours. It must have, because I can't seem to contain the love I'm feeling right now. I suppose that's what moved me to put all of this down on paper. I realize that you and I have had our differences over the years. And we've both neglected to say things that probably should have been said. But it's difficult to show emotion face to face. Somehow, it's so much easier to say what's on my mind this way. _

_You probably never knew this, but expressing my feelings through letters is something I learned from Mom. I know she's left a hole in all of our lives. I'm glad that you have Ronee to help you fill that void now. And of course David and Daphne do the same for me. But even so, her memory is never far from my thoughts. I see her in David's smile. Daphne says she's sure that Mom is looking down on us all now, from wherever she is. I've never been one to believe in such things, but I hope that is true. _

_Mom and I were always close, but once Maris came along, she took up an awful lot of my time. I've always regretted that I wasn't able to be there for Mom during her final months. There are a lot of things I wish I'd told her then. _

_I sincerely hope that I won't find myself saying the same about you one day. I could never live with myself if I missed my chance to let you know how much I love you. I will never be able to thank you enough for all you've given me. I hope I can be as wonderful a father to David as you've been to me._

Love Always, 

_Niles_

After signing his name, Niles re-read the letter he'd written. It was as if the simple act of putting pen to paper had relieved him of all of his guilt and regret over the past. It was probably a good thing. He and Daphne were about to begin an exciting new chapter, and the last thing he needed was to bring baggage from yesterday into it. He looked again at the sleeping angel in the bed. They had a baby to take care of now, and she would undoubtedly need his help. There would be no time to waste beating himself up over the things he'd done.

He thought of the man he hoped David would one day be. Whether or not his son would become that man depended a great deal on him. From now on, he would do everything he could to set a good example. His first step was to make sure his relationship with his own father was solid. In order to do that, he would need to make a trip to the post office very soon.

**The End**


End file.
